Weasley Insanity (Read At Your Own Risk!)
by Myra109
Summary: A series of one shots based off of some weird days in the Weasley household (so basically everyday). Humor, terror, and purple cookies ahead! Yes... I said purple cookies.
1. The Attack of the Party Favors

_There will be a lot of Percy and the twins. The other Weasleys are here, but if I had to decide, the three characters that showed up the most were Percy and the twins. That's because you don't see a lot of Percy and the twins fanfics out there. In some chapters, characters are OOC._

 _ALSO! Please check out the poll on my profile. I'm having a vote on which story I should post next. The summaries are on my profile under **Poll summaries.**_

 _WRITING PROMPT (FOUND ON PINTEREST):_

 _Started my day getting attacked by balloons at the market._

 _Things only got worse from there._

 _(Slightly modified to fit the plot)_

 ** _Disclaimer: I own nothing_**

 ** _WARNINGS: DANGEROUS PARTY FAVORS!_**

* * *

Molly Weasley's day started when her family got attacked by balloons.

Things only got worse from there.

Ginny was turning seven that day; money was tight, so her and Arthur had done the best they could to throw together a party. They'd bought the cheapest balloons they could find, and almost-thirteen-year-old Percy helped her make a cake (considering he was the only one in their family she trusted to be near the stove, Arthur included). The younger kids made homemade gifts, and Percy, Bill, and Charlie had scrounged up enough of their own savings to each buy Ginny a present.

Percy had wrapped up a brand new diary for her; Charlie had tossed a small, stuffed dragon into an old party bag; Bill had simply handed her a doll, not even going to attempt to wrap anything. That was probably a good idea, now that she thought about it; last time Bill tried to wrap a present, he wound up lathered in glitter and glue, covered in bits of wrapping paper, with tissue paper stuck to his hair and clothes (she still didn't know how he did that!).

Meanwhile, the twins were up to something. She could feel it in her gut.

They sat huddled in an arm chair, too quiet for her typically rambunctious twins. Everyone else could sense it too, except for Ron, who was always oblivious, and Ginny, who was too excited to care.

After lunch, Molly took her knife and prepared to cut the cake.

"AHHH!" Ron screeched.

She spun around, the knife clanging to the table, to see quite a strange sight, even for the Weasley family.

Balloons were attacking her children.

An electric blue one rubbed itself over Bill's hair, making the long strands stand on end. A green one kept smacking Percy in the face. A pink one was stuck to Charlie's back, and he looked like a dog chasing his tail as he tried to get it off. A purple balloon wacked Ron over the head, making the eight year old sniffle but not cry (he claimed that he was too old to cry). Ginny, on the other hand, got angry; she popped three balloons whilst more attacked her.

Fred and George stood there in shock, Bill's wand in Fred's hand.

"Fredrick! George!" Molly called. "Stop this madness right now!"

"We can't!" George screamed back as a crimson party balloon began chasing him.

"What do you mean?" Molly cried over the ruckus as she slapped a balloon so hard, it popped.

"We tried! It isn't working!" Fred explained, waving the wand and yelling a spell to demonstrate.

As he stated, nothing happened.

Or actually, something did happen, but it wasn't a good thing.

The cake lifted off of the table and dumped over Arthur's head, covering his red hair and pale skin in white frosting.

Molly removed her own wand and frantically waved it.

The presents slid off the tables and began dancing through the air, occassionally hitting a person.

Arthur also tried, but his wand turned into a kangaroo. Yes... a kangaroo.

Ron started crying at this point and made a mad dash for the house with the kangaroo right on his heels.

"What the bloody hell?" Bill yelled from somewhere in the mayhem. "What's going on?"

"I don't know!" Molly responded.

The doll gifted to Ginny by Bill came to life and began to dance, tripping over its legs and flopping its arms about; Ginny screamed as the doll neared her. Charlie kicked it away from her, and it hurtled into the orchard.

Percy somehow reached the table and grabbed his book before starting to swat balloons out of the air like flies. They popped, loudly, and Ron, who was still running from the kangaroo, cried harder at the loud noises.

Molly, once again, attempted to cast a spell, but her wand sprayed water all over everyone (hey, at least it washed some of the frosting off of her husband).

"What is this?" She yelped.

Percy said something to Ginny, and she rushed into the house.

A present went after Fred, ready to hit him over the head (and it looked like a heavy present).

"NOT MY CHILDREN!" Molly shouted before punching the present so hard, it dented and rolled across the yard.

"Thanks, Mum," Fred murmured, voice shaking.

"Fred, what spell did you cast?" She demanded.

"Uh, we found it in Charlie's textbook. _Inducat chao_ ," he told her.

"What?" Percy yelled from across the yard. "That means induce chaos!"

"We knew that was what it meant!" George cried. "But we thought it was a good kind of chaos, not a deadly kind."

"Chaos is chaos!" Percy replied. "There is no in between!"

The bowl with the juice tipped over and flew towards Bill, who hit the deck just before it sailed over his head and shattered against the trunk of a tree.

"We're all gonna die!" Fred screamed.

"We're not gonna die!" Percy contradicted. "Where is Ginny?" He muttered, lowly.

The chickens suddenly raced across the yard and began skittling around Arthur's feet, pecking against his shoes.

"Shoo!" He commanded. "Shoo!"

He kicked once, gently, but it only seemed to encourage it furthur.

Suddenly, there was Ginny, handing Percy his wand.

" _Novis_!" He waved the wand.

Sparks scattered across the yard, and time seemed to reverse.

The balloons stopped attacking, the popped ones returning to their former state; the cake vanished off of Arthur's body and reappeared back on the table. The shattered remains of the punch bowl floated above the grass and mended, the bowl filling with juice. The presents hovered in the air before flying back to the table, any broken or dented ones fixing themselves. The doll flew out of the woods and landed beside Ginny's foot.

She squealed in fright and kicked it back into the woods.

Silence followed.

"I knew there was a reason we kept you around," Bill gasped, slapping a hand on Percy's shoulder.

"Oi!" Percy exclaimed. "I just saved your arse; I can easily recast the spell."

"No!" The other children begged.

"Watch your language, Percival," she chided without any real bite. After all, her son just saved them from a lot of work and possibly, an injury or two; the least she could do was let the cursing slide just this once.

"On the bright side, Ginny," Fred chuckled, nervously, "your seventh birthday was definitely unforgettable."

Very slowly, they turned to face the twins.

"We will talk about this later," Molly said, glaring at the twins. "For now, a girl only turns seven once in a lifetime."

"Well, actually, Marie Stevens deaged herself in 1897, and she had to live her entire life over again, so-" Percy began.

Bill suddenly walked behind Percy and crossed his arms over Percy's face, effectively silencing him.

"Don't ruin it," he whispered.

Percy stamped on Bill's foot and escaped his hold as Bill yelped and jumped up and down, nursing his injured toes.

"A simple _shut up, Percy_ would've sufficed," Percy bit back.

"And a simple _don't touch me, Bill_ would've sufficed," Bill said, gritting his teeth as he hobbled on one foot and rubbed the other foot.

"And guess what, Ginny?" Charlie laughed. "The twins are on jester duty tonight."

"What?" The twins asked.

"Jester duty?" Fred muttered.

"Aren't we always on that?" George questioned.

Charlie smirked. "Not like this."

They had a feeling they weren't going to like that.

And they didn't.

* * *

"And our next act... the wonderful, amazing, annoying, identical monkeys!" Charlie announced, gesturing widely with his arms.

Fred and George trudged out of the shadows, dressed as monkeys, and scowled as their family laughed, hysterically.

"Be excited!" Charlie commanded, poking them with a stick. "Be entertaining!"

Fred and George sighed before smiling, broadly, and going into an odd, awkward, improvised dance.

"That's what you get!" Ginny giggled.

"Don't mess with Ginny," Bill advised.

"Wait a minute..." Percy suddenly spoke up. "Where's Ron?"

It went silent as they glanced around, realizing that the youngest boy was, in fact, not present.

A crash sounded from outside, followed by a terrified squeal.

Molly paled. "The kangaroo!"

The Weasleys ran like hell.

* * *

 _Ha, ha. I'm quite impressed with myself. My sense of humor is awful, so this was pretty good._


	2. If We Die, It's Your Fault

_Percy and the twins!_

 _WRITING PROMPT (FOUND ON PINTEREST):_

 _"If we die, I'm hoping to spend the rest of our afterlife reminding you that this was all your fault."_

 _"That's cool. I wouldn't mind having company while being a ghost."_

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter_**

* * *

"If we die, I am going to spend the rest of the after life reminding you that this is your fault," Percy hissed.

"That's cool. I wouldn't mind having company while being a ghost," Fred responded, casually.

They were currently hiding outside the house of Electra Serga, the crazy, old woman that lived two streets away from the Burrow.

Electra was known for screaming at the walls and cursing out two year olds and occassionally grabbing a person hard enough to bruise. She particularly hated male children, and ten year old Percy and eight year old Fred and George were perfect targets.

The twins had dared themselves to sneak inside Electra's house and steal something (something she wouldn't notice was missing, such as a pencil, but something, regardless). Percy had seen them sneak out and followed them; when he discovered what they were doing, he was unable to stop them or contact their parents, and he wasn't willing to leave them alone.

Therefore, the smartest of the Weasley children made a very stupid decision: he went with them.

"This is a bad idea," Percy mumbled.

"She's not home," George pointed out. "She won't be home until two."

"How do you know?" Percy demanded.

"What? You think we'd do this without doing our research first?" Fred asked, a single eyebrow raised. "Percy, we're reckless, but we're not idiots."

"Oh, I think that can be argued- for the both of you and myself for following you."

"Lighten up, Perce. She's not gonna kill us, even if she was here. Then, she'd go to jail," Fred laughed.

"If you say so..." Percy grumbled, not entirely convinced.

Electra was stronger than their father and Charlie combined and filled with hate. Although murder may be a little extreme, Percy wouldn't put it past her.

"Move out!" Fred commanded as the clock struck thirty minutes past noon.

The three redheads raced across the lawn, ducking low to avoid being seen from the windows of neighbors.

Fred picked the lock so fast, Percy couldn't help but be impressed, although he was horrified at how many rules (and laws!) they were breaking right now.

Fred opened the door, and the brothers entered the home of Electra Serga.

The house was dark and dusty, like the homes of witches in Disney movies (which Percy found offensive. Magical people did not always have warts and high collars and greasy hair... just no.), and old photographs hung from the walls. The couch had one spot that was devoid of dust, presumably where Electra seated herself. A spare cane leaned against the wall beside the door. There was no TV, just a lot of knickknacks and five or six books on a shelf.

Percy grabbed a pen off of a coffee table and forced it into George's hand.

"There, now, let's-"

A car door slammed outside.

The three exchanged terrified glances.

"Hide!" They hissed in unison.

The three ducked into a coat closet, and Percy, ever the clever one, buried him and the twins under a pile of coats that had fallen off of hangers to hide themselves in case the door opened.

And it did. It opened and Electra tossed a coat inside, not even bothering to hang it, before shutting the door.

They heard a sigh and the cracking of joints as Electra eased herself onto the couch.

"What do we do?" George asked, almost silently.

"Electra doesn't hear very well," Percy murmured. "She has the eyes of a hawk, though; the couch is turned away from us, so if we're very quiet, we'll be able to sneak out."

"We can't use the front door," Fred pointed out.

"One of the back bedrooms has to have a window big enough for us to fit through it."

"What's the plan, brain?" George mumbled.

"Okay, I'm going to open the door half way, and one at a time, we'll sprint out and into the back hallway. Go to the farthest room from the living room that has a window," Percy instructed. "Be quiet, stay low, and be fast. Fred, you first."

Percy slid the door open a fraction and peeked out to make sure that Electra's back remained facing them.

"Go!" He practically mouthed, gesturing to Fred.

Fred sprinted from the closet, his feet barely touching the ground. Percy cracked the door, watching as the small boy dashed across the floor, hunched over in an effort to stay down.

Percy slid the door back open.

"George, as soon as you find the window, go. Don't wait around. I'll be right behind you," Percy murmured. "Go!"

George raced out of the closet and disappeared down the hall.

Percy counted to thirty in his head before sliding the door back open...

Only to come face to face with a beady, gray eye.

Percy screamed, throwing the coat over his head to cover his trademark hair.

The woman snarled (almost like a dog) and grabbed him, her nails digging into his shirt. Percy felt cloth and skin tear as he ripped himself from her grasp and ran for the hallway.

Percy was faster than her, and he arrived in the back bedroom to see the window open and the twins nowhere in sight.

Percy leaped for the window...

Electra grabbed his pants leg and Percy kicked her wrist, hearing a slight pop as the old bones were jostled.

Electra hissed in pain, and Percy tumbled out of the window, running across the lawn with the coat still over his head.

"YOU LITTLE BRAT!" She howled.

The ten year old skidded into the bushes, dropping the coat and there, he discovered the twins crouched behind the green leaves.

"What happened?" Fred demanded, eyeing Percy's torn clothes and the narrow (and thankfully not very deep) scratches on his shoulder.

Percy waved away the question. "Long story. We'd better get home."

The three boys crept out of the bushes and began strolling down the road, still breathing heavily from the shock of the Event.

"Hey," George smiled, weakly. "I dropped the pen, but..."

He dug under his shirt and pulled out a bra. Electra's bra.

Percy sighed. "Gross. How immature, George."

Fred just laughed.

"On the bright side, we're probably the only ones to escape Electra Serga's house alive," Fred chuckled.

Percy couldn't help it. He said, "True that."

Laughing, the boys strolled home, and miraculously, no one had noticed that they were gone.

* * *

 _Okay... why not? It's a bit of a cliché, but oh, well._


	3. I Had A Thought- Oh, No

_There is one angsty paragraph, but the rest is family and some humor!_

 _IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY, **PLEASE CHECK OUT THE POLL ON MY PROFILE PAGE AND VOTE FOR WHICH STORY I SHOULD POST.**_

 _WRITING PROMPT (FOUND ON PINTEREST):_

 _"I had a thought."_

 _"Oh, no."_

 _"No, I swear it's a good one this time!"_

 ** _Disclaimer: I own nothing_**

* * *

"I had a thought," Fred announced.

"Oh, no" was the collective response.

"No, it's actually a good one this time, I swear."

"Fine. Let's hear it," Charlie muttered. "What have the monkeys come up with this time?"

"First of all, I am a lion, not a monkey. Second of all, who here believes in Santa Claus?"

Everyone raised their hands except for Percy.

"What?" Ginny demanded. "You don't believe in Santa?"

Percy shrugged. "Even with magic, no man could make it around the world in 24 hours. I'm not about to squash your beliefs, partly because Mum and Dad would kill me, but until I have proof, you can't convince me."

"Well, that's what this meeting is about: proof."

Bill frowned and leaned forward in his chair. "Keep talking."

"All right. George and I first thought that we could Floo to the North Pole and find his workshop, but it didn't take us long to realize that that was a lot of work, and the North Pole is bloody cold," Fred explained.

The five others nodded in agreement, even Percy.

"So we decided on another plan," George continued. "On Christmas Eve, we'll set an alarm for midnight and stay up until we hear Santa. Then, we'll all sneak downstairs and see him for ourselves."

"But Santa only comes when we're asleep!" Ginny protested.

"That's the purpose of the alarm. If we go to sleep, it'll fool Santa into thinking that we stayed asleep," Fred smiled as his siblings oohed and ahhed in realization.

Percy just rolled his eyes. Even if Santa did exist, that plan was awful, but he didn't have the heart to squash their childhood dreams yet.

After all, Bill and Charlie remembered the times of Santa and the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, the carefree times before the war when Christmas still had presents and Easter still had Easter eggs and New Years had an excitable countdown.

Percy didn't have the luxury. He was born into the war. Christmas passed with no gifts. Easter passed with no Easter egg hunts. New Years Day marked the end of a terror filled year and the beginning of an even more horrifying 365 days, filled with death. Feasts consisted of sandwiches and water bottles in the safe houses. The only thing that made a holiday a holiday for Percy was when people read him holiday stories or excerpts from the Bible.

For five years, Percy thought that that was how you celebrated a holiday- how everyone did. It was only the Christmas after You-Know-Who's defeat that he realized how wrong he was.

Nonetheless, he didn't learn of Santa until he was five, and at that point, it was too late to give any such belief to the boy that had grown up too fast.

"All right!" Fred grinned. "Who's in?"

They all raised their hands, Percy doing so begrudgingly. He would do this, if only to show them that they were wrong.

"Plan Find-Proof-of-Stanta is ago."

"The plan needs a better name."

* * *

At midnight, Fred's alarm rang, quietly, piercing the silence of his and George's bedroom.

Everyone had opted to sleep in the twins' room, rather than setting twenty alarms or waste precious time waking the others. As the alarm went off, the seven Weasley children groaned and mumbled in a half asleep trance before reluctantly crawling out from under their blankets.

"So how do we know when-" Ginny was interrupted by the clop, clop, clop of hooves on the roof.

"We know when _that_ happens!" Fred smiled, cheekily, pointing to the ceiling.

Ginny swatted at him so fast, he didn't even have time to dodge, and he glared at her, rubbing his arm.

"Come on, you two!" Bill hissed before leading the way out of bedroom and down the steps.

For a moment, the living room was empty, but then, the fireplace flared up, and a man in a red suit tumbled out.

I know what you're all thinking: their father was nice enough to dress up as Santa Claus!

There was just one problem. This man certainly wasn't their father. Or any other man they knew, for that matter.

Their father was a round man, but he was far from chubby, and this man was fat. They vaguely wondered how he got down the chimney. His cheeks were a rosy pink, although he wore no make up, and his smile was not their father's. Their father had a warm smile, but this man looked like he didn't have an ounce of sadness or anger in his body. Besides, he had a long white beard (like Dumbledore's), and his white hair came to just below his shoulders.

The man gobbled the cookies they'd left on the mantle, and he slurped from the glass of milk.

After he was done with that, he slung the huge bag off of his shoulder, and he placed seven presents on the ground below the tree.

He turned and winked at the Weasley children, hiding in the shadows of the hallway, before he placed a finger against his lips and stepped into the fireplace. Seconds later, he was gone.

"What are you kids doing up so late?"

The seven whirled around to see their groggy father standing behind them.

"Santa's real!" Fred yelped.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh," Percy muttered. "Santa Claus is real!"

Their father sighed before kneeling down in front of them.

"Kids, I hate to tell you this, but Santa Claus isn't real," their father said.

"But he is!" Bill exclaimed. "We saw him."

Their father laughed. "You couldn't have. Your mother and I get you the presents; we eat the cookies."

"Did you eat the cookies tonight?" Charlie demanded.

Arthur shook his head. "Not yet."

"Then, why are they gone?"

Arthur frowned and glanced at the empty plate and glass.

"Your mother must've already eaten them."

"Santa Claus ate them!" Ginny said.

Arthur sighed. "All right, kids, on up to bed."

The seven grumbling children climbed the stairs and went back to sleep.

* * *

Bill tore open his present to reveal a book named _The Adventures of Curse Breakers._

Molly frowned before whispering to Arthur:

"I don't remember getting him that."

Arthur laughed. "Probably just a present we got early and forget about."

Charlie ripped through the wrapping paper on one of the presents, and he held up a book called _A Guide To All Things Magical Creatures._

Arthur frowned. "Now, I don't remember getting him that."

Molly shook her head. "Me neither."

Percy unwrapped his own present to display _Wizarding Law Throughout The Years._

"We definitely didn't get him that," Arthur mumbled. "I don't think he could read that anyway. He's ten!"

Fred and George ripped open their presents to reveal matching copies of a book called _Jokes, More Jokes, and Pranks!_

"Okay, no way did we get the twins that," Molly hissed. "We'd have to be stupid or blind to make that decision!"

Ron opened his present and held up a book called _The Adventures of Tom and Fin_ (they're magical heroes from several decades ago, but they made their mark by going on dangerous adventures and saving the Wizarding World multiple times a week... seems fitting, doesn't it?).

Ginny clawed through the wrapping paper on the present and grinned as she held up a book called _Women and Quidditch._

"Arthur, can I speak with you?" Molly asked, grabbing Arthur's arm.

Arthur nodded and allowed her to lead him into the back hallway.

"Guys, look!" Bill gasped, holding up a folded piece of notebook paper. "It's a letter!" He informed them before reading it aloud.

 **Dear Weasley children,**

 **I know you saw me last night. Please let this be our little secret.**

 **You may not understand the significance of your gifts quite yet, but trust me, with time, you will.**

 **Don't stop believing. You have seen me for yourselves. Don't let me be forgotten and cast off as you age. Always remember Santa Claus. Always remember 12:07 am on Christmas day of 1986.**

 **-Santa Claus**

 **P.S: check in the shed outside.**

The children glanced at each other before racing from the house.

Bill tossed open the doors to the shed, and the children grinned.

"Mum, Dad!" Charlie shouted in excitement.

Their parents walked across their yard and stared into the shed.

A full set of brand new Quidditch supplies stared back at them.

Arthur exchanged glances with Molly, and both shook their heads.

Always believe in Santa, kids. He does so much for you. The least you can do is believe in him.

* * *

 _How was the chapter? It was a nice twist, wasn't it?_


	4. You Absolutely Do Not!

_Chapter 4 has arrived with a pinch of family and a whole lot of mischief._

 _OOC PERCY!_

 _WRITING PROMPT (FOUND ON PINTEREST):_

 _"Want to see how much trouble we can get into?"_

 _"No!"_

 _"It's a Tuesday; I know how to restrain myself."_

 _"You absolutely do not!"_

 ** _Disclaimer: I own nothing_**

* * *

"Want to see how much trouble we can get into?" Fred asked.

It was a Tuesday in the middle of winter, and the seven Weasley children were gathered around the kitchen table with nothing to do. Their parents were out to dinner and had left Bill in charge, which wasn't the best idea when the Weasley children are involved.

"No!" The five children shouted while George yelled, "Yes!"

"It's a Tuesday," Fred laughed, addressing the five negatives. "I know how to restrain myself."

"You absolutely do not!" Ron denied.

Fred shrugged. "Hey, we have nothing to do. You have any better ideas?"

Silence.

"Fine!" Charlie exclaimed. "What do you have planned?"

"Woah, woah, woah, hold up!" Bill interjected. "Mom and Dad put me in charge. If we wreck havoc and cause choas, they'll never let me babysit again!"

George chuckled. "Really, Bill? Of course, they will... as soon as we chase away all the babysitters."

"He has a point," Ginny said, nodding her head.

"No!" Percy yelled. "We are not going to-"

"Your opinion doesn't count. As your younger brothers, it is our job to make sure you have fun, so we're dragging you along whether you like it or not," Fred interrupted.

Percy hmphed in disagreement, but he leaned back in his chair and didn't argue anymore.

"So... all in favor of an adventure?" Fred smirked.

Charlie, Ginny, and Ron put their hands up automatically; Bill sighed and followed shortly after.

Everyone look at Percy.

The third eldest rolled his eyes before reluctantly putting his hand up.

"Then, it's settled," George smiled. "Operation Chaos is ago!"

"We are not spies! Stop referring to these bouts of trouble making as missions!"

"Never!"

* * *

"Kids, we're home!" Arthur shouted as the Floo flared up and he and his wife stepped out of it.

Silence greeted them.

"KIDS!" Molly yelled.

Arthur leaned down to his wife's height.

"It's too quiet. Tread carefully," he advised, quietly. "Literally."

The adults crept through the dark and silent house, testing each spot of the floor before stepping on it. Finally, Molly arrived at the light switch and flipped it.

Nothing was out of the ordinary.

Arthur sighed. "Thank goodness. It looks like Bill got them all to bed."

Molly nodded. "A quiet evening. That's a new one."

The adults climbed the stairs, and Arthur smiled at his wife, readying himself to speak, when he suddenly tripped over a wire and fell flat on his face.

"Arthur!" Molly yelled in surprise.

She didn't have time to say anything else because a bar lightly bumped her on the back. It didn't hurt her, but it sent her falling forward.

Silly string sprayed from cans of the sticky pink and green string, covering the parents in the fluffy substance.

Noise blared from loud sound horns as the levers were pressed, creating a blast of awful, ear shattering noise.

When Arthur tried to stumble to his feet, he slipped in a puddle of water, and he grabbed the nearest thing he could reach to stop himself from a falling. A rope that dangled from the ceiling.

A box of feathers tumbled on top of him, and marbles rolled across the floor, creating a dangerous maze.

"Kids!" Arthur yelled. "You'd better come out and fix this, or I swear, you won't leave your rooms for a month."

Surprisingly, no kids appeared.

Arthur stepped very carefully around the marbles until he made it to the wall and placed a hand against it.

"Kids!" He shouted as he took a step forward.

All the lights shut off, leaving Arthur and Molly in the absolute blackness of their own home.

Arthur cursed and took another step forward, only to have his foot become stuck in... was that a bucket?

Molly reached into her pocket and waved her wand, vanishing the marbles and the silly string and the feathers and the water on the floor. The lights flickered back on.

Arthur panted from the work out that had been.

"Kids!" He yelled. "Fun's over! Come out or you're sleeping outside."

Arthur wouldn't really do that to his children, but the threat did the trick. The seven children popped out of hiding places and stood side by side, gazing at their parents, sheepishly (except Fred and George, who have no shame).

"Sorry?" Bill said, shrugging, as his ears turned bright red.

* * *

"All right, we're going to break this down. Before I make any assumptions, we are going to determine everyone's part in this," Arthur said very slowly to avoid yelling. "Who instigated the prank?"

Fred and George raised their hands, smiles still plastered on their faces.

"Okay... who set it all up?"

Ginny, Bill, Ron, and Charlie raised their hands.

"I did the silly string," Ron said.

"I did the the marbles and the feathers," Charlie said.

"Sound horns," Ginny muttered, "and water."

"Trip wire," Ron added.

"Okay, who was the mastermind? Not who instigated it; who decided on what to do and put it together?"

Percy, his face flushed a bright crimson, raised his hand.

Molly's jaw dropped. "Percy?"

"What can we say?" Fred laughed. "He was the brains of the operation."

Arthur sighed, rubbing his forehead with his fingers.

"Punishments," he muttered. "Extra chores. All of you. Bill, you're doing the dishes. Ginny, living room. Charlie, you're doing all the yard work. Ron, bathrooms."

"But Dad-" Ron protested.

"No buts. Besides, it's nothing compared to what these three are going to get," Arthur stated, turning to the twins and Percy. "You're cleaning all of the floors. With toothbrushes."

"What?" Fred sputtered.

"That's cruel and unusual punishment!" George exclaimed.

"I didn't even want to do this!" Percy begged

"Whether you wanted to or not, Percy, you still gave in and helped. Now, would you three rather sleep outside in the snow?" Arthur asked, holding out three old toothbrushes they hadn't gotten around to throwing away yet.

The twins and the third eldest sighed before accepting the toothbrushes.

* * *

The next day, Fred, George, and Percy were on their hands and knees scrubbing the floor with the frayed bristles of the toothbrushes.

"It was worth it," Percy said, not looking up from the floorboards.

A few beats of silence.

"Totally," the twins agreed.

They continued cleaning as though nothing had been said.

* * *

 _Why not?_


	5. You Pushed Me Off Of A Building!

_This is a short chapter, but I still found it hilarious. Hope you do to!_

 _WRITING PROMPT (FOUND ON PINTEREST):_

 _"I saved your life."_

 _"You pushed me off of a building."_

 ** _Disclaimer: I own nothing_**

* * *

"I saved your life," Ron argued.

"You pushed me off of a building!" Percy pointed out.

Let's back up a bit.

 ***FLASHBACK- AN HOUR BEFORE***

"Let's do it!" Fred shouted.

"I don't know what _it_ is, but it can't be good," Ginny said.

"Come on! It is a good idea. Let's go to the top of the building by the peer-" Fred proposed.

"And jump off of it!" George finished.

"Really?" Fifteen year old Percy said. "There's only one tiny little problem with that... what was it? Oh, right. We could die!"

Fred rolled his eyes. "We would not die. There's no rocks in the water, and it's deep enough. Cedric jumped off the building once. It's like fifteen feet deep, and it's not high enough for us to die on impact."

Percy sighed in exasperation. "It's dangerous."

George muttered under his breath. "Fine. Let's make a deal."

"You come with us," Fred picked up the train of thought.

"-to supervise-"

"-and if you don't want to jump-"

"-you can stay at the top like a priss."

Percy pursed his lips. "Fine, but if you die, I'm bringing you back from the afterlife to tell you I told you so."

"Then, we have a deal!" Ginny clapped. "I'll go get my bathing suit."

...

The five siblings stood on the roof of a seven story high builing, peering down into the pure blue water far below.

"Me first!" Fred shouted as he stripped off his clothes (Ginny was the only one that changed. The boys didn't really see a reason to).

"I still think it's a bad idea," Percy tried.

Fred shrugged. "Bad ideas are good ideas that prissies are too afraid to try."

"That doesn't even make sense!" Percy shouted, but Fred had already jumped.

The thirteen year old redhead plummeted into the water below, creating a huge splash that reached the second story.

Fred resurfaced and whooped, loudly.

"Cannonball!" George yelled before leaping off of the roof top, having already taken off his clothes.

George joined his twin in the water.

"Woo-hoo!" Ginny hollered as she jumped off of the roof, seizing what might be the last fun moment she had with her brothers (who were all heading off to Hogwarts in less than a week) for quite some time.

Percy sighed. "Well, I'll meet you at the bottom," he told Ron as he headed for the stairs.

"SPIDER!" Ron screamed before slapping Percy in the chest so hard, Percy flew backwards and tripped, falling off of the edge of the roof.

Percy splashed into the water, cursing Ron's name to the wind, and when he resurfaced, his siblings (Ron having joined them) laughed.

"Nice one, Ron!" Fred chuckled.

"Ron!" Percy admonished.

"There was a spider!" Ron cried. "I did what I had to do."

 ***FLASHBACK OVER***

"I saved your life," Ron argued.

"You pushed me off of a building," Percy pointed out.

"Details, details," Fred tutted. "He got you into the water."

"By pushing me off of a building," Percy repeated.

And the argument continued as the Weasley children walked back home, water dripping onto the road and leaving a trail behind him.

* * *

 _"There was a spider! I did what I had to do!"_

 _That is so me right there._

 _REVIEW! Bye!_


	6. No Longer Allowed In The Great Hall

_Hello, everyone! I know it's been a while, but since this story does not have a consistent flow (meaning one chapter does not lead directly into the next, like a collection of one shots), it does not have a specific updating schedule. Some months, it'll be updated every week. Other months, it'll be updated once or twice or not at all. It just depends on the month._

 _INSPIRATION: A PICTURE OF A SIGN I SAW ON THE INTERNET_

 ** _Due to the incident on (date I can't remember), Cheez-Its are no longer allowed in the cafeteria. Thank you for your cooperation._**

 ** _Disclaimer: I own nothing_**

* * *

 **Due to the Incident on May 26, candy, soup, ice cream, and finger sandwiches are no longer allowed in the Great Hall. Thank you for your cooperation.**

"I can't believe you got four foods banned from the Great Hall. You! Of all people!" Oliver laughed as he stared at the sign.

"For the record," Percy stated, casually, "the twins helped."

* * *

 _THE PREVIOUS DAY_

"Are you sure, big brother?" Fred asked. "This could risk your prefect status being revoked."

"I know," Percy said, the tips of his ears red with anger, "and I don't care. This'll teach them to bully our brother and sister."

"I like him like this," George said as he stared at the Slytherin table, waiting for it to happen.

Multiple Slytherins bit into their food, and for several moments, nothing happened.

Then...

"My nose! It's gushing blood!"

"I'm going to get sick!"

"I don't care. Just throw up that way!"

"I feel dizzy..." thump!

"Draco fainted!"

"I'm spouting feathers like a chicken!"

"That's because you are a chicken!"

"BAHK! BAHK!"

"AHHH! The chicken's chasing me!"

"My stomach hurts so much!"

"I need the nurse!"

"Someone tried to poison us!"

"YOU THREE!"

Everyone whirled to face Marcus Flint, his nose dripping several cups of blood a second. He was glaring at Fred, George, and Percy, the only ones laughing. There would've been more, but everyone was in too much shock to even giggle.

"YOU DID THIS?" Flint roared.

"Yes, we did," Fred stated without missing a beat.

"And we're proud of it," Percy said.

"You shouldn't have messed with our siblings. Any of you," George added, stating at the dozen Slytherins suffering from the candy they'd placed in their food.

"You put that awful joke product- that candy- in our food," Pansy squawked in realization as she clutched her aching stomach.

"Yep," Fred confirmed.

"YOU!" Marcus yelled, ever the rage full one, and he started chucking any food within arm's length at the brothers. It started with a bowl of ice cream, which shattered to the left of Percy's head, and then it became soup and finger sandwiches (soup because it was boiling, and finger sandwiches because the platter contained almost unlimited amounts of ammo). Percy calmly put up a shield over him and the twins.

"Apologize to Ron and Ginny for bullying them, and we'll give you the antidote!" George bargained after Marcus finally got tired of throwing food.

"No way!" Flint said.

"Do it!" Goyle ordered before continuing to vomit.

"I have nothing in my stomach," Crabbe howled as he threw up water and stomach acid.

"That's a first," someone muttered from behind the Weasleys.

"Fine, Rob, Jenny... I'm very sorry," Marcus relented after deciding that he rather liked being conscious and not passing out from blood loss.

"Close enough," Percy said. "The rest of you?"

Apologies rang throughout the room, and Ron and Ginny stared at their siblings in shock.

"Can we just assume he's sorry?" Pansy asked, pointing at the still unconscious Draco.

George nodded. "Here's the antidotes," he said, tossing them each a piece of candy. "When's our detention?" He asked the teachers, who were so astonished, they hadn't moved.

"Um," Dumbledore stammered (that's a new one). "I want you three in my office. All the Slytherins that were pranked will go with Professor Flitwick and Professor Snape until I can talk to you about the bullying. The rest of you, continue with your lunch!"

"Thanks," Ron told his brothers before they could leave.

"You never need to thank us for protecting you," Percy replied before the twins and him headed for the door.

"Oh, and by the way," Fred called to Ginny and Ron. "We'd do it again. No regrets."

Ron and Ginny would be lying if they said they weren't touched by their brother's actions.

* * *

"Detention, revoking my prefect status, cleaning the castle with toothbrushes?" Percy asked.

"Hit us," Fred continued.

"We don't regret it," George added.

"I'm not going to punish you," Dumbledore stated.

"And neither am I," McGonagall added.

"Excuse me?" Percy asked.

"Did I hear you correctly?" Fred questioned.

"You're not punishing us?" George repeated.

"No. In fact, I'm rewarding all three of you fifteen points for loyalty and five for being willing to break the rules for the greater good, regardless of consequences," Dumbledore said.

"But if anyone asks," Minerva continued, "we gave all three of you detention for two weeks."

* * *

PRESENT DAY

"That'll teach them to mess with Ron and Ginny," Percy told Oliver.

"And you," Fred added as he and George appeared.

"What?" Percy asked.

"I told them Flint was bullying you," Oliver confessed. "That's why they had the plan all figured out when you told them about Ron and Ginny. They were planning to use it on Flint as revenge for him bullying you."

Percy smiled. "Thanks, guys."

"You never need to thank us for protecting you," George said. "Now, we should head to our _detention_ ," he stated with a wink.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading! Until next time, Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! I have no idea what it means, but when Dumbledore said it, it made me laugh, so why not?_

 _Bye, everyone! Thanks!_


	7. Cover Story

_Hello, everyone. I honestly think this is a funny idea, but it'd be much better as a video than a written scene. Oh, well._

 _INSPIRATION:_

 _LOUD HOUSE, EPISODE: COVER GIRLS_

 ** _Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

* * *

"All right, but you owe me for this," Percy muttered, aiming his wand at the small machine in his hand.

It was a machine him and his siblings used (although they rarely used it nowadays) to communicate messages. With a simple spell, you could say a statement, and the machine would translate it to Morse code and communicate the message using flickering lights, also vibrating whenever a message was coming. Sometimes it was simple things, like _it's time for dinner_ or _people are trying to sleep, so stop blowing stuff up._ Sometimes it was more complex, like _we need you to cover for all six of us, and do all of our chores for spring cleaning, and in return, we'll do all of your chores for a month._

Bill and Charlie were here for Easter, but their mother's rule was that as long as you're staying in this house, you need to help with the cleaning, so despite being of age, Bill and Charlie were still given chores. You also need to follow the rules, including curfew; Percy thought it was his mother's way of getting back the days where Bill and Charlie were younger, and they humored her by going along with it. They went to Diagon Alley with the rest of their siblings while Percy stayed behind to get his spring holiday's homework over with instead of waiting until the last minute like the rest of his siblings.

Unfortunately, they wanted to break the rules by staying out past curfew and needed Percy to make sure that they didn't get caught.

Percy picked up his wand, the Transfiguration spell on his lips (in this story, in magical households, the trace really doesn't matter because they can't tell who did the magic).

Thank goodness fourteen-almost-fifteen year old Percy was gifted at Transfiguration, or he'd never be able to pull all of this off.

Within seconds, Percy's curly hair straightened and his features shifted. Percy glanced into the mirror and smiled as he saw Fred's face staring back at him.

He could change his appearance, but he couldn't change his height, so he'd have to be extra careful around Mum and Dad now that he had hit a growth spurt and was nearly a foot taller than the twins. This was much easier when he was the same height as them. At least his height would make it easy to cover for Bill.

Percy walked out of his room and retrieved Fred's list of chores from his room, beginning to go through the list.

Percy managed to do all of his siblings' chores (altering his appearance for each in case of an unexpected run in with Mom and Dad) without his parents getting suspicious once. They commented him on how good he was doing on his chores (or how good _she_ was doing if he was covering for Ginny) multiple times.

By the end, Percy was exhausted, and he walked into his room, changing his appearance back to normal and ready to collapse into his bed.

Little did he know, the night was just beginning.

"Kids!" Mum called, and Percy panicked as he bolted down the stairs.

He rounded the corner and nearly passed out right there.

"Aunt Muriel!" He cried. "Hello. It's nice to see you again, but what are you doing here?"

"Can't I just visit because I want to?" Aunt Muriel asked.

Percy wanted to cheekily say no, but that was just a disaster waiting to happen.

"Now, Percival, how about you go get that older brother of yours, Bill?" Aunt Muriel said.

Percy nodded. "Of course."

He sprinted up the stairs and skidded into his room, hurriedly sending a message to his siblings.

 _Emergency! Get home now!_

Percy changed himself into Bill and used his wand to make an explosion sound in the hallway.

"What was that?" His mother called.

"That was us!" Percy called, imitating Fred.

"Do we need to come up?" Dad yelled.

"No," Percy cried in his highest voice in what was actually a pretty good imitation of Ginny. "We've got it, Dad."

"Okay..." his dad shouted, sounding a little weary. "Bill, come on down. Aunt Muriel wants to see you."

Percy rushed down the steps and stood before Aunt Muriel with his long hair and his clip on earing.

"Aunt Muriel, so good to see you," he stated. "How have you been?"

"Great," she said, stiffly. "I see you still have that awful hair style and that ugly earing."

Percy blinked. Restrain, Percy, he thought as he swallowed the very colorful words he wanted to throw at her in that moment.

"Well, you look lovely, as always," he said, and his father nodded, knowing his son could've said something a lot more terrible if he hadn't fought the urge to throw an insult right back at Muriel.

"Now, where's Charles?" She questioned.

"I'll go get him," Percy said before running back up the stairs (running into the wall a few times since he wasn't wearing his glasses and was blind as a bat without them) and quickly changing his appearance to Charlie's.

"Aunt Muriel," he laughed as he appeared downstairs, trying to focus on the blurry blob that was his Aunt Muriel (he could tell it was her because she didn't have the tell tale red hair of his parents)

"Charles," she said. "You're a lot more lean than I remember," she said, looking him up and down.

Percy flinched. Transfiguring his appearance was hard enough, but Tranfiguring his entire body type took a lot of magic, so he'd only transfigured his body type to resemble Charlie's, but they weren't by any means identical.

Percy nodded. "It is the Easter Holidays. Exercise was sort of thrown out the window the minute the holidays started."

She nodded. "I see... where are those twins?"

Percy swallowed a squeak. "Twins? As in two?"

"That's what twins means, Charlie," his father chuckled. "Go on."

Percy nodded and headed for the stairs, only to find himself on the floor.

"Didn't see the table," he muttered at their confused looks. "Bye!"

Percy rushed up the stairs and changed into Fred (or George. Whichever one) before walking back down the stairs.

"Hello, Aunt Muriel," he said. "My twin's still cleaning our prank off the wall, but I'm here."

"I can see that, Fredrick," she said.

"I'm George," Percy said, almost rolling his eyes as he prepared himself to preform their most common joke.

"Oh, sorry, George."

"Just kidding. I am Fred," he chuckled. "Anyway, I'll go get George."

Percy walked up the stairs and then walked back down them.

"Where's Fred?" His mother asked.

"He got stopped by Percy. He stole his glasses again," Percy said. "Anyway, Auntie, how are you?"

She frowned. "You're a lot more polite than I remember."

Percy blinked. "I guess Percy's wearing off on me... wait. PERCY'S WEARING OFF ON ME!"

The adults jumped at his abrupt yell.

"Fred," he yelled up the stairs, beginning to dash up the staircase. "We need to pull a prank. I'm turning into Percy!"

"Send Ron down!" His mother called, and Percy heard Aunt Muriel mutter something about not being able to control their children.

Percy transfigured himself into Ron and raced down the steps, tripping over the fuzzy spots that must've been the stairs.

"Hello, Auntie," Percy greeted.

"You have dirt on your face," she tutted (Percy had rubbed some on his cheek since Ron always seemed to have dirt on his face), and she wiped her thumb, smearing the dirt away.

"Aunt Muriel, that's unsanitary!" He cried.

"Unsanitary?" Mum said. "Since when do you care about that?"

Percy blinked. "Um, I don't. But Ginny does! I'll go get her."

Percy dashed up the stairs, imagining their looks of confusion, and he shoved his glasses on his face, skidding to a stop in front of a mirror. Transfiguring into Ginny required his sight, so he focused hard and watched as his hair grew and his features became more feminine.

He raced back down the steps.

"Ginevra," Muriel began. "Why are you wearing Percival's glasses?"

Oh, no, Percy thought as he ripped his glasses off and shoved them in his pocket. "Just some friendly teasing, that's all."

"I want to see all of you," Muriel stated. "Run along and get your brothers."

Percy's eyes widened, but before he could craft together an excuse, some loud stomping came from upstairs, and they all looked towards the ceiling.

"Yes, Aunt Muriel, of course!" Percy blurted before darting up the steps.

He found all of his siblings standing in Percy's room (Percy's room had the best window for sneaking out- and sneaking back in, for that matter), and Ginny squeaked at seeing a taller, but otherwise mirror version of herself.

"Aunt Muriel's here," Percy said as he undid the spell and turned back into himself. "And she wants to see all of us."

The seven children ran down the steps and talked to Aunt Muriel for a few minutes before bidding her goodbye. They sighed in relief as she walked out the door.

 _I can't believe we actually got away with that_ , Percy thought.

As soon as the door closed behind her, their parents turned to them.

"All right," his father stated with a sigh. "Who was covering for who?"

 _So close!_

* * *

 ** _I hope you enjoyed the chapter! See you next time! Bye!_**


End file.
